Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Put the toothpaste back

       I remember years ago seeing someone squeeze some toothpaste out of the tube, and then challenging someone to put it all back in.  After trying in vain, the volunteer gave up, and the speaker made a point that has stuck with me to this day.  He said our words are like toothpaste - once they leave our mouth, it is impossible to put them back again.  There have many times in my life that I wish I could take back what I had said - sometimes  as soon as I had said them.
       I also remember an old rhyme from childhood - "Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can never hurt us."  Anyone who has been on the receiving end of a scathing tongue-lashing knows just how false that saying is.  Our words have great power.  With words we can encourage, and with them we can discourage.  We can use them to build up, or to tear down.  They can request prayer, and they can spread gossip.  They can lend to a good reputation, or they can destroy one.  Yet as powerful as the spoken word is, (as well as the written one), we are probably more reckless with our words than any other thing in our lives.
        As a pastor, I regularly deal with people who are having problems with relationships.  What I have consistently noticed, is that there is a direct correlation between the severity of the problems and the manner in which the people communicate.  We tend to have less patience with those with whom we are most familiar.  Problems arise, tempers flare, and the "toothpaste" comes out of the tube.  Words become weapons, and pain is inflicted, and before we realize it, irrevocable damage is done.  I have watched married couples as one spouse is confronted that they are wrong in a situation, and that spouse -  instead of admitting they are wrong - will reply with terribly cold, mean and vindictive language. They will insult, bring up past failures, and anything else which will give them back an advantage in the conflict.
I have seen spouses who, after splitting up, began to speak to every listening ear, determined to destroy their estranged husband or wife.  When God reconciled the marriage, they both had badly damaged one-another in the minds of friends and coworkers and church members, and sadly wished they could "put the toothpaste back".  I have seen people sharing hurtful gossip about someone, not realizing - until it was too late - that their voices were carrying far enough that the person could hear.
       We need to be very careful with our words.  In the third chapter of the book of James, we are told that the tongue is a "fire", and a "world of iniquity".  It is a "restless evil, full of deadly poison".
"With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.  From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not be so."  In chapter  one we are told to be "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger".  But what can we do?
James says "no man can tame the tongue".  Are we destined to leave a trail of destruction from this untamable monster inside of us?

         No! Thanks be to God that "what is impossible for man is possible with God".  We must allow the Spirit of God to take control of our mouths; to be Lord of all that we are.  How can we do this?

        Pray.  Agree with God's will that no unclean word come forth from you, and ask Him to help you to overcome.
      "Bring every thought captive to Christ".  Before you speak, ask God if what you are about to say is going to build up or tear down.
       Ask yourself, "Would you say this if Jesus were standing right with me?" (He Is!).  Will it bring glory to His name, or will it give the lost opportunity to point out hypocrisy?
        Check your attitude.  Even when we speak the truth, we must "speak the Truth in love."  If I'm angry, is it something that God would be angry about, or is it because things didn't go my way?  Am I about to bring up someone's past failures?  I Corinthians 13 says that "Love doesn't keep a record of wrongs".

        Finally - if you struggle with the words that come out of your mouth, whether it's foul language or gossip, lying or hurtful speech, prejudice or foul jokes - the problem isn't just the mouth; it's the heart.
Jesus said, "From the depths of the heart, the mouth speaks."   If darkness is flowing out, then there is a problem with the source.  Let God through Jesus Christ and His Holy Spirit change your heart today.
1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness".  Let Him fill your heart, so that what flows from your mouth will be to the praise and glory of Almighty God.

God bless you as you walk with Him,
Neil

1 comment:

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